…I must confess that I am loving this chapter of life albeit it’s not where I thought I’d be. Growing up, I always said I wanted to be married and done having kids before 30. Well, I’m 29, single, and for the last few years I’ve contemplated whether I even want kids. I try not to feel sorry for myself or compare myself to my friends in relationships. I try not to think about my “biological clock.” I try to remain grateful by consciously romanticizing my life and doing things that induce happiness. Embracing friendships at work, taking more photos to document these ephemeral moments, singing at the top of my lungs while driving, and obsessing over my plants and window feeder are just a few ways I find gratitude.
I saw a TikTok the other day (yes I’m aware of how millennial that sounds) about how this part of our lives is for hanging out with friends and I really felt that. Just in the last few weeks, I flew down to the Charlotte to hang with one of the true loves of my life, I enjoyed happy hour outside with a friend on the nicest day so far this year, I started golf lessons with another friend, and I spent a day making homemade cinnamon rolls, nachos, and wings with another. And now I’m on my second weekend this month staying at Courtney’s for no reason other than to veg and puzzle. I believe this time of our lives is for watching crazy documentaries (Quiet on Set), competing for the best time on The Mini, thrifting quirky items for our apartments, and sharing book recommendations. I feel so fortunate to have such a safe space with my friends to laugh, cry, talk shit, tell dead dad jokes, and play Connections. Life will probably never be this simple again and I am here to indulge every ounce of where we are before inevitable responsibilities.
I cannot ignore the fact that this stage in life is slowly turning me into my dad. The birds, the plants, the road rage… it really is something. As I get older, the more I understand him and the way he romanticized his own life despite his demons. He always celebrated the little things (sunsets, the smell of the ocean, a nice cold glass of milk, driving with the windows down, etc.) even when the big things dominated. If he were alive, he would absolutely have a window feeder and it would bring him so much joy. Truly nothing makes me happier these days than watching the little birds fly to-and-fro my feeder. And the plants… I cannot stop buying and propagating plants! They bring me so much happiness and it feels nice to have other living things in my apartment besides myself. It feels nice to get so much out of the same things my dad cherished.
I am so happy right now sitting on Courtney’s couch, listening to the rain, enjoying my coffee, and watching The Toast. If this chapter of my life is all about friends, birds, and plants, I am so here for it. Here’s to not at all being where you thought you would be but romanticizing every moment of where you are.
Sarcastically Callie 