I was single for over five years before getting into my current relationship. I think because it had been so long, I was extra excited being around someone new and experiencing new feelings. For at least two months, we saw each other as much as we could. He was secretly visiting me at work, I was bringing him dinner during his shifts, and we were kidnapping each other to run errands. Before we had been to each other’s houses, we were hanging out in parking lots until 2am because we didn’t want to leave each other. We were completely smitten.
Our “honeymoon phase” lasted about three months and honestly, I was terrified for it to end. I feared it would end the excitement and the butterflies and the new adventures. I was even a little hesitant about making it “official” because I didn’t want all of the good things to end. I didn’t want to not miss him after a day. I didn’t want him to stop sneaking into work to see me. I didn’t want to start the inevitable bickering and annoyances.
But now that our the honeymoon phase is over and we aren’t sitting in each other’s cars until 2am on work nights, I am happier than I ever imagined. I still look forward to seeing him and I still get butterflies when he discreetly winks at me. Our adventures have only gotten more fun and we’ve already been on our first (mini) vacation.
When we’re not finding a new bar for trivia or exploring a new hiking trail, we are doing absolutely nothing and still having the best time. I thought meeting each other’s parents would end the excitement of “sneaking around,” but chilling and binging Big Brother has created a different excitement. The end of our honeymoon phase really allowed me to put my walls down and be my true self. There’s nothing like the feeling of being exactly who you are around someone without being judged. He makes me feel so important and when I’m with him, my face hurts from laughing. He’s easily the funniest person I’ve ever met.
Yes, the bickering and annoyances have surfaced but with the ending of our honeymoon phase came deeper conversations which led to an even deeper connection. We have real talks and real problems and it’s all real now. I’ve never been a fairytale kind of girl so I should have known I’d prefer the real stuff. The real talks. The real disagreements. The real emotions. The real issues. The real fun. The real world.
We don’t feel the need to go out as much because we’ve realized it’s just about spending time together (and spending less money). We truly just enjoy each other’s company and I am so grateful.
To those in new relationships, don’t fear the ending of your honeymoon phase! Embrace learning about your partner’s quirks, appreciate the beginning of meaningful conversations, and good luck trying to find out why they don’t like sushi. Relationships are about growth both together and individually and as crucial as the honeymoon phase is, the real stuff is way more fun!