IAMO, not FOMO

IAMO – I. Am. Missing. Out.

I don’t suffer from the fear of I’m missing out; I literally AM missing out. I’m twenty-four years young and all I do is wake up, go to work, and go home with a sprinkle of library trips and gym visits in between.

I really try not to compare my life to others’ lives (especially on social media) but it’s apparent that I’m definitely not as social as most people my age. I don’t really have a group of friends, I still live at home, I’ve worked for the same company since I was sixteen… I’m just boring. My life is boring.

Sometimes I just want to move away and start over and meet new people. But then I remember I’m tens of thousands dollars in debt from school. Plus where would I go? Philly? Portland? Austin? I mean, I’d go anywhere if I could afford it.

I just feel like I don’t go out enough. Don’t get me wrong, I love my bed and hanging out with my mom (and it’s not like people are blowing up my phone asking to hang), but I would really like to go out more often.

The first problem is, I’m not exactly sure how to make friends at this age and stage of life. Where do I meet new people without moving somewhere new? How do I find people with similar interests if I don’t really have any hobbies? I feel like people already have their core group of friends and their reliable social life with constant plans and activities.

Don’t even get me started with dating. Most of my friends are in relationships. Then there’s me. I’m totally cool with being single because I’m so independent and love my me-time. I don’t really think about being in a relationship and I definitely don’t think I’ll be forever alone, but it would be nice to date here and there. I just don’t wanna meet someone on a dating app. Do I feel like I’m better than dating apps? Yes, kinda. I feel like I’m more than capable of meeting someone in person but then again I am single and have been for a long times so maybe I’m not…

I really do enjoy my life. I really enjoy my job and the few real friends I do have are the best people in the world. And thank goodness for my mom, she’s always down for binge-watching shows and drinking margaritas. I just want to get out more. I want to do more. I want to travel more. I just want more out of life and I know I’m the only one who can control that.

All of my recent emotions are reminding me of a blog I posted over a year ago called Hoping I Haven’t Peaked. I truly fear that my best years are behind me. I fear that because I’m still home, still with the same company, that I’ll never be given the opportunity to meet new people and embrace new settings.

It all probably sounds so silly but I just don’t want to be wasting my twenties. I want to have crazy experiences that lead to lifelong memories and maybe even some regrets. I want to meet good people and bad people and make some mistakes. I don’t want to miss out on living. Sometimes I feel like I’m simply existing and it’s simply not enough.